epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:Rockerdude22/Rockerdude's Rap Battles: Pirate Captain Royale
Presenting my first battle royale! A bunch of famous pirate captains enter the rap arena to determine who is the true king of the seven seas! Who wins? You decide! Captain Morgan: To start this battle off, I’ll be going first Have some of my rum if you’re dying of thirst I proudly stand tall, with one foot on a barrel Anyone who steps up to me will no longer be sterile I was named after a successful privateer among the Spanish Main So you know I’m tough with my drinks distilled from sugar cane When it comes to pirate captains, I’m the best one of all Anyone who sails with me will surely have a ball Captain Crunch: Oh just stop Morgan, your rhymes make me throw up my lunch Just give up, cause you’re now facing Captain Crunch All your shitty drinks do is make people drunk You have a hideous mustache, and you smell worse than a skunk People line up at the stores, just to buy my cereal Cause it has a healthy dose of vitamins and minerals We’ll see who’s a better pirate when your face meets my fist Have some Cap’n Crunch cereal, it’s part of a nutritious breakfast Captain Flint: You two think you’re pirates? Hah! You make me laugh I’ll now end you both, cause I’ve had enough of your crap Both of you are just silly food and beverage mascots I’ll put you in your graves, and leave you to rot I’m a classic literary character, commanding the Walrus You can try to fight my crew and I, but you could never beat us I’ll lead off of your courses, and straight to the sirens Then I’ll bury both of you scallywags on Treasure Island Captain Hook: Now entering the arena, it’s the scourge of Neverland All of you landlubbers are even less manly than Peter Pan You two commercialized morons should get out here and run As should you Flint, for this shall be worse than dying by rum Mr. Smee, can you tell me what it says on the clock? I believe it’s time for me to feed these fools to the croc You wannabe pirates should have taken a second look Cause now you’ll regret facing the great Captain James Hook Captain Feathersword: You can call me Captain Feathersword, the friendly pirate But now that I’m in this battle, I’m about to start a riot Hook puts girls on their period whenever he fingers them And don’t get me started on the rest of you rotten vermin Kids line up to see me perform with the Wiggles But that won’t stop me from making all of you cripples You want a real challenge? Well, you won’t be bored Come face me and my crew on the S.S. Feathersword The Flying Dutchman: The ghost pirate from Bikini Bottom is now here All of you are now gonna be shaking in fear Morgan and Crunch, your products make people sick And Flint and Hook use big swords to hide the size of their dicks Oh, and I haven’t forgot about you, Feathersword Dying by my hands will be your only reward I’ll steal all of your souls, and put them in my bag I’m the real pimp captain, who has the most swag Jack Sparrow: Hello all, and welcome to the Caribbean Get used to it here, cause none of you will be leaving I’ve defeated many foes, like Davy Jones and the Kraken Compared to my feats, all of you are really slackin’ Feathersword and Dutchman are just kid show stooges And Hook is just a pedophile who constantly loses I’ll cut through all you punks straight like an arrow You’ll all remember this as the day you lost to Captain Jack Sparrow Blackbeard: The real OG pirate captain has now come into the field And all these fictional fools are now gonna yield To the hardcore captain manning the Queen Anne’s Revenge You’ll all meet your deaths by my ship’s plank edge I’ll now Edward Teach you all a lesson on this salt sea’s trenches You’ll now all become my own personal servant wenches None of you bitches would even exist without me For I am the one true king of the high seven seas Who won? Captain Morgan Captain Crunch Captain Flint Captain Hook Captain Feathersword The Flying Dutchman Jack Sparrow Blackbeard Category:Blog posts